Losing You...

How pathetic am I? I already got my heart broken by a guy I'm not with. We aren't together, but the thought of losing hope on being together left me into pieces. I was just a mess. I just lost myself. I cried on and off, from the night I found about someone else to the next day when I was just wondering what was true and what wasn't. I was just shattered.

I heard that you already had someone else and I actually caused some problems between the two of you. This just got be guilty and hurt. I was so scared that I did something wrong and that I could have destroyed a relationship that I had no idea of. I just wouldn't know what to do if I ever hurt you or cause you any unnecessary hardships.

Then I was just hurt. I long for this guy for months and I find out he has someone else. I finally knew what Meridith felt when she found out about Addison. I felt like I was going to lose McDreamie ("Grey's Anatomy"). What was worse was that, I didn't have him in to begin with. I just liked him. I broke down. I cried. I nearly skipped a class. I just had a hard time that day.

Then we found each other again. I thought I might cry again, but I didn't. You came up to me, took me aside and explained. It was all a misunderstanding, a cruel joke by someone else.

I was relieved. You who indirectly took my smile away came back and wiped my tears and gave it back. In those few moments of being with you and talking with you again, I felt like you gave me back my sleepless night and painful day. You crazy-glued my heart back together. Thank you.

After that day, I just realized how down I was. I was a sorry excuse of a human being. I never thought that realizing that I could never have you would be that hard for me, but it was. You really are important to me. I never knew who much until I thought I lost you, before I even had you.

Now I know I really have it bad for you.